The only thing I have ever wanted was to meet someone, get married, and start a family. When I was asked in middle school what I wanted to be when I grow up a mom and wife was always on the top of the list. Yes I had other things on that list, many I quickly took off, like when I realized that becoming a nurse meant being around blood and other bodily fluids. But being a wife and a mom was always at the top of that list.

I thought I would be married with multiple children by thirty, but that never happened. I prayed and did novena after novena for well over a decade. I am still praying and waiting at 31, almost 32. I also was actively trying. I wasn’t sitting at home alone waiting for my future husband to knock on my door. I did Catholic Match and other dating sites, speed dating events, was super active in young adult ministry (until I aged out), super active in Church, went to Bible studies, and was active in the small Catholic university I went to. I even paid a service to look at my dating profile to see what I can improve to get more matches. Nothing worked.

God answers prayers in three ways: yes, no, and not yet. And I kept hearing ‘not yet,’ ‘be patient,’ ‘marriage is amazing and it will happen but not right now.’

But seeing friends get into relationships and get married, much younger cousins and people grades younger than me that I used to babysit or was camp counselor to in high school get engaged and married and start a family when I am here waiting for years and even decades longer than them hurts. Don’t get me wrong I was happy for them, but it doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt a bit seeing all these Facebook posts of engagements and weddings, and pregnancies.

But God knows us better than we know ourselves. And we may want to marry young, but maybe it isn’t what is best for us. So God withholds amazing things from us because it just isn’t time yet. Or maybe he needs us to learn patience, or needs us to do something for Him first. We might never know which reason it is.

Throughout the Bible God reminds us to trust Him and to trust His timing. That timing might not look like ours but it is the best.

Jeremiah 29:11: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

2 Peter 3:8-9: “But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.“

Ecclesiastes 3:1: “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.”

31 and a half and still very single. I don’t know when (or if) I will meet my future husband. But I do know that it will definitely be worth the wait and after the fact I will understand why God made me wait.

But in the meantime I am enjoying living alone (with Eisenhower my dog), going on solo adventures, the fact that I can do things on a whim without worrying about another person, and using my singleness to glorify God.

Soon I will live with a husband and hopefully children. Soon I will long for the quiet evenings watching TV or reading a book without getting interrupted. Once I get married and have children I will cherish the laughter of my children, the late night conversations with my husband, the fun adventures my family goes on. But for now, I am enjoying the many great things about being single. Because they do exist.

Being single isn’t bad or wrong. If done correctly it gives you time to trust God, to become the best version of yourself for your future spouse, to use your singleness to glorify God.

Godspeed.